The Last of the Milk by Amy Haynes

The Last of the Milk is series of images exploring grief in motherhood. The idea for these images came to me in a moment; a rose fell apart in my hands and prompted the thought ‘what if I was this rose…’. I let the ideas come instinctively before the baby woke up from her nap wanting a feed. I turned 40 last year and it didn’t phase me at all. In fact I celebrated several times over. But I also had my third - and last - baby last spring. Making these photos revealed a deeper grief to me than I realised I was carrying. I’ve given so much of myself - time, health, identity, a career - to having my children, and soon this phase will be over. Who will I be, when the milk is gone?

I know through my work with parents that this is not a unique experience; that we all carry some sadness and grief in our motherhood journey. For some, it it could be the struggle to conceive or carry a pregnancy; for others it could relate to baby loss, struggles around breastfeeding, changes to relationships, and so many other scenarios I cannot even imagine.

The two images below have been turned into prints. I will be posting envelopes out to mothers and would-be mothers across the UK containing one of the prints, a blank notecard, and a letter inviting recipients to respond to the image and share their thoughts about any grief they have experienced on their path to parenthood. All the responses will be completely anonymous, even to me, and I hope to collect a wide range of honest thoughts about the experience of motherhood.